This past Friday I was at my friend's house. It was the first Beauty Control party that I've ever attended. My friend had got Sushi and some Thai food, some of the best food! I had set aside this "me" time and was looking forward to spending time with some friends all week.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
While I plated up my food. I heard my text notification noise go off a few times. My first thoughts were just to ignore them and check them later. Then a couple more went off. I decided to go ahead and check them. One of the messages was from Cullen. He said my sister, Randi had called earlier and that he thought she might need a phone call. Normally I would have waited until my drive home to call her back, but I just felt like I should call. I went ahead and gave her a call. She wondered why I was calling while I was having my "girl" time, I told her that Cullen thought she didn't sound great. She said that she had been trying hard to hide it from Cullen.
Then I could really hear the hurt in her voice. She said she would go ahead and talk one last time, to say goodbye and for me not to be mad at her. I stood there in shock for a second, Randi is bipolar and has been in and out of suicide watch over the last four months. She has been working with a doctor, but none of the meds have been working that she has tried.
I begged her not to do anything, I tried to talk to her, but she was determined on her actions and didn't want to talk about it. I could tell she was serious. The tears were just flowing and I was shaking. On the other line I could hear Randi hyperventilating and barely able to breathe. Then I remembered my friend that was hosting the show was a social worker. I went and pulled her aside of her party. She came back and helped me so much. She coached me on what to say. She asked me to ask Randi, if she could promise on not taking any actions tonight, to just wait at least until tomorrow. Randi refused this, she was done. One of the questions was did she have a plan already. Randi's response was, no, I'm not going to let you know my plan. Finally I was coached to ask if she could promise to wait just one hour. She agreed.
I really think she thought there wasn't much I could do. I live at least 1500 miles away from her. She had just moved about 45 minutes away from everyone. Her husband was at work and doesn't usually check his own phone while at work and I didn't know where he worked. Only about 2 or 3 people even knew where she lived. I started calling everyone I could think of. I was still shaking and crying from the conversation with my sister. First was her husband's answering machine, then I sent a text to him. Then I called my Aunt, i didn't know she was at work where she couldn't have her phone, so another message to her, then a call to my Uncle, no answer from his machine, so another message left. I called my Mom, she couldn't do anything. While I was making all the phone calls, Randi was texting me and calling me wondering what I was doing and I could tell she was mad. I finally got in touch with my Uncle on his house phone. I told him what was going on, he didn't know where she lived, but was going to try and find out. I called my sister to try and find out and her husband answered. Randi hadn't done anything yet, thank goodness.
He had just happened to check his phone just in time to get the text I sent him. Come to find out, he works right around the corner from where they live. he got there. My Uncle followed and I'm guessing her husband called another friend of the family. Through the evening they decided to get her to a hospital and asked if I could come out to help.
Arizona has a very weird policy of how you get admitted into a mental/behavioral facility. You have to go into an ER and wait until a bed is opened in some facility. Well, she stayed in the ER for almost 3 days, under suicide watch. No smoke breaks for her (which is a big deal for a smoker), nothing for her to do and they told her it might be another 3-4 days waiting in the ER. She opted to go home and go to her Dr. He told her to get back to the hospital. So she is back in the ER waiting for a room. This time in a better hospital, letting her have smoke breaks, they even brought in a second bed for her husband to sleep up there with her.
Since I was asked to come out, and I was able to, I did. I jumped in the truck the next morning, kind of packed with the kids. I don't know how much help I am, but I'm here.
A lot of my family is out here and it's been over 6 years since I was last here. Middle child turned two last time we were here. I had been wanting to make a trip out here, but this was not how I really wanted to do it. Maybe next year, I can take a real trip out here.
I asked my sister after I got here how close she was to acting on her plan when I called her. She said she was within minutes of acting. She was extremely mad at me, when I asked her to promise to wait that hour. She said she really hated me for that. Now she doesn't, but during that time she was really mad at me.
I really thank the Lord for everything working out. It is amazing to me how I felt prompted to go ahead and call her, or that her husband felt prompted to check his phone, that I was right there with a social worker, who was able to help me. I couldn't have thought of the things she coached me with on my own. I am so thankful. I pray now that my sister can get the help she needs, so she can enjoy her life again!
Posted by J-Mom at 8:15 AM